What Will They Think of Next?

Cheese, made from MILK? Only in America! What's next; bread made with flour??

I Finally Did It!

It took my whole life, but I finally won the Stanley Cup for the Blackhawks. Since they obviously wouldn't have won without my help, I'll be here waiting for a phone call from Rocky Wirtz and a nice wad of cash...

A Celebrity in the Family

I was recently at my sister-in-law's house, and it turns out my nephew is the World's Best Soccer Player! I had no idea that such an honor had been bestowed upon him. Not sure why there wasn't a parade or anything like that, but still, I guess congratulations are in order.