Today, I caught this lemon trying to be a lime. How sad, I thought. Isn't he comfortable in his own skin? Why are we always trying to be something we're not? Does he honestly think life will somehow magically be better once he looks like a lime? I mean, on the inside he'll always be a lemon, and he should celebrate that! I just thought it was important to put this out there, and maybe try to raise awareness of this increasing problem. If I can save one fruit from a life of insecurity and self-loathing, it will have been worth it.
Maybe we need to have a ceremony celebrating his lemon-ness. Or would that be "lemonosity?" What ever its skin, we need to assure the lemon that we appreciate its acidicity.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me for noticing that the emperor has no clothes on, but ... well...this is a deceased lemon. Dead. Green with gangrenous goo. It is, in sad fact, attempting to become compost, not a lime.
ReplyDeleteYou both may be on to something! Just as an editor's note, I heard from the Lemon/Lime Conflict Resolution Committee (the LLCRC) and they they tell me that I should say "rind" instead of skin. Apart from that, they had "no comment"...
ReplyDeleteSo sad that people commented on this...
ReplyDeleteand that was me trying to be simon cowell, so i guess you're right the problem is increasing... i'm just a lemon trying to be a lime
ReplyDeletesniff.... i'm scared